Your success with younger women is not dependent on how old
you are, or how large the gap is. The approach you use for a
woman your age will also work for someone younger with a few
minor tweaks.
It comes down to three things:
1. The image you present to the world.
2. The beliefs / self talk thoughts running around in your head,
your mindset.
3. Your selection criteria ( how you select who you're going
to approach)
Those are the same three things you'd focus on if there weren't
any age gap. Only the variables within each group change a
little.
Women are women; the psychology of a woman doesn't change with
age. Only her focus does.
1. Your Image
When I talk about your image, I don't mean the way you dress
(though that is an element of it). The image we're concerned
with is the one that she forms based on your external appearance,
your way of moving through the world, how you carry yourself,
what you say, how you interact with others, etc.
You want to be in total control of the kind of person she
thinks you are. Women don't just go for what's on the surface.
She's asking herself "what kind of person is he on the inside?"
The answer that you should have ready for her should be
something that overpowers any resistance to your age, looks,
height, weight, or anything else that is outside her normal
"type."
Women go for men who have what she wants.
That's really what it boils down to: Do you have what she
wants?
Sure, some of them want you to be Brad Pitt (who is over 40,
by the way. But, he's perceived as youthful because he's
presented that way). But, they'll gladly put aside good looks
and age if you have everything else she's been looking for.
With age comes many benefits. Experience, security,
understanding, and social status are all byproducts of
getting older.
If you want to attract younger women, forget about the age
difference and focus on the benefits that come from being
older. But your actions must speak louder than words.
You can't just talk about being more experienced and mature
than men her age. It has to be seen to be believed.
If you have to tell her, then you're not doing it right.
You have to start asking yourself, "What are the qualities
that make me attractive, despite my age?" And, honestly, if
I were you, I'd even drop that last part about your age.
Just ask yourself, why would anyone, regardless of how old
she is, want to be dating you?
I can promise you this: if you have attractive qualities
that make you desirable to women in general, then you
definitely have qualities that younger women will also find
attractive.
While the mindset of a woman does change as she gets older,
they're all still attracted to the fundamentals. Demonstrate
to everyone around you that you're the man they either want
to be, or the man they want to be with.
Up to a certain point, you want to present yourself as
youthfully masculine. Don't get an earring and dye your
hair blond. Just take care of your body; eat right and
exercise.
Display healthiness, and you'll be associated with youthfulness.
Wear clothes that look good, and make you seem like you've
opened up a copy of G Q Magazine in the past year.
You should be doing that no matter how old you are, but if
you want to seem especially younger, you shouldn't be the
kind of guy who looks like he needs to relax at home after
a hard day of work.
Engage in strenuous physical activity. Hit the gym, go hiking
or ride a bike. Take dance classes. If you don't feel old,
you won't look old. Besides, younger women don't go for the
stay-at-home types. They're more likely to go for you if
you're bursting with energy.
If you're clean - shaving or have a beard or a mustache, try
trading it in for the "haven't shaved in two days" stubble.
Studies have shown that women find this look attractive.
Again, it connotes a young, yet maturing appearance. It also
demonstrates a little rebelliousness, especially in older men.
Remember, it's all in service to the image she'll make up
in her head. In there, you need to seem youthful, energetic,
strong, experience, able to take care of her and satisfy
her. If you can conjure and cultivate the portrait of a
capable man, the age difference will have little meaning.
2. Your Mindset
What you project as your image has its roots in what you're
thinking right now. Who do you believe yourself to be?
What do you feel are the boundaries of your capabilities?
Let me ask you this: right now, do you feel like you can
easily pick up a desirable 25 year old? Do you feel that
you're at a disadvantage because of your age?
Over the years, I've heard every excuse in the book, and I
can tell you that there are almost as many 25 year old
guys who don't think they can get a 25 year old girl, as
there are 45 year old who think the same way.
It's not your age; it's your beliefs about your age that
hold you back. As I pointed out earlier, getting older has
its benefits.
But what if you were to truly believe that your age isn't
something to hide? What if you were proud of how old you
are?
Remember: It's not your age that's the issue; it's HERS
that might be the issue.
What if she's too inexperienced and too naive?
You're the right age, but she has to prove to you that
she's wise beyond her years. Or, at the very least, willing
to learn from you.
For some guys, believing this will take some work. Changing
beliefs isn't the easiest thing in the world, especially
if there are a whole bunch of other beliefs tangled up in
them.
With patience and determination, however, you can start
to believe that you have an advantage over younger men.
If you believe in yourself, possibilities open up.
The major factor here is confidence and self-assurance.
I mean this in several ways. Not only does it mean that
you've got self-esteem and believe in your own self-worth,
but you're also fearless and will go after whatever it
is that you want.
That means you don't think twice about approaching a 20 or
30-something woman. Project the sense that a man of your
stature and confidence has gotten with younger women
before; this should look easy.
You must exude the feeling that you've done this before,
and being with a younger woman is nothing out of the
ordinary. If you can truly grasp that and make it part of
your belief system, then you will project it to her.
It will make it that much easier for her to forget about
the age difference.
Being with a younger woman has to seem par for the course,
but you still want her to feel special. You're not going
after her because you need a younger woman.
You're interested in her because she seems interesting as
a person. You just don't want her to feel that her age is
a big deal to you.
This kind of confidence comes from experience. It comes
from making a concerted effort to be comfortable in that
kind of situation.
If you're comfortable with women around your age, start
frequenting places with a slightly younger age bracket (
coffee shops), and start interacting slightly outside of
your comfort zone.
Work your way slowly, over the course of a few months, to
the age group you want.
If you're 40, don't jump into a 20 year old 's world without
experiencing some 30 year old and mid-late 20s women first.
Your mind and nervous system prefers gradual change, and
it's best to approach it that way if you want to acquire a
new set of permanent beliefs.
3. Your Selection Criteria
I have a 55 year old friend of mine who lives in India.
Every Monday, he goes to an American karaoke bar and sings
a few tunes
After his first number, he buys a handful of people around
him a round of drinks. Over the course of a few weeks from
when he started, he's become the guy that everybody knows.
Even in India, a place far more conservative than our United
States (and the rest of the western world), he's been able
to pick up several women under thirty at that bar.
That's because he embodies confidence and makes his
presence felt. As a result, he has social status. At that bar,
he's near the top of the pecking order.
It's a mindset that he has cultivated, and one that is
accurately sent out as his image. The two cannot be
separated.
No matter who you select, she's looking for some type of
demonstration of the pecking order. You're expected to be
at the top because you're older. Those at the top take
care of the ones underneath him.
Don't mistake this to mean you pay for everything.
Just a demonstration is all that's required. It shouldn't
look like a demonstration, either.
My friend has found a place that, for him, works well.
He's able to demonstrate his authority and youthfulness
among all age groups.
You'll benefit in finding the same.
Some bars, coffee shops, and even something like night
classes, would have a varied age group.
Of course, it isn't necessary to go "somewhere."
If you're confident in yourself, you'll be able find
women anywhere. But, for the sake of practice, it's a
good idea to find place where you can become a regular
and befriend a few people (yes, even men) younger than
you are.
One more thing to consider is that there are some women
who are more likely to disregard the age gap than others.
In my experience, the more intelligent the woman, the more
likely mature the man she dates. It's not an unalterable
rule, obviously, but it's a good starting point to find
receptive girls. Also, the more "alternative" she is
(in the way she dresses and what she believes in), the
more likely she'll overlook the age difference.
Ask yourself, "Why am I seeking out a younger woman?" I
know, the real answer is because you and I both want a
smoking hot chick in our beds so we can say, "I've still
got it."
What are you looking for?
Come up with some good answers that ring true for you,
and seek those types of women out. If you have a clearer
goal, it's easier to attain.
